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The other day, I happened to stumble upon the Apple TV series Schmigadoon! - which I found quite enjoyable. An overall happy-fuzzy feeling musical-style program, with song+dance messaging packing numerous oversimplified life-and-living-related messages. Among them, I found one which I really liked and felt worth sharing: Happy endings don’t exist But here’s a pearl you may have missed Every day can be a happy beginning. The message (as I read it) is: Don't assume you'll have a happy ending. Not everything we do will work out for the best. No matter your level of optimism (and I'm a great optimist usually, as other posts of mine will show) - you can't count on that. But - every day can be a happy beginning - a new opportunity to (re)start positively, again. A 180-degrees change from a super-pessimist message to a super-optimistic one. Liked.

לפני כמה שבועות סלי סיפרה שקנתה כרטיסים להפקה מקומית של מגמות המוזיקה והמחול של תיכון מור-מטרווסט מרעננה, של המחזמר ״משפחת אדאמס״. (כל התמונות הן מהתוכניה המושקעת שהפיקו במגמת העיצוב של בית-הספר.) ראשית אומר - אילו היו 90 הדקות מהמהנות שחוויתי באיזשהו אירוע בידור. היה מצחיק, היה מרגש, היה מרשים - ומידי פעם היינו צריכים להזכיר לעצמינו שמדובר בהפקה של תיכוניסטים וצוות המורים שלהם - זה היה פשוט ממש ממש ממש מרשים. תוסיפו לכך שגם את מלאכת ההתאמה לישראל והתרגום לעברית ביצעו התלמידים והצוות - וואו! הדבר הראשון שאמרנו לעצמינו כשיצאנו היה: ״איפה קונים כרטיסים למופע של שנה הבאה? תרשמו אותנו!״ וגם היה בונוס... כידוע אני אוהב ״משפטים מחוזיים״. מתישהוא בהצגה, כשגומז ומורטישיה רבים על משהו כזה או אחר, גומז אומר למורטישיה: על מה שחסר לי בעומק - אני מפצה בשטחיות‎. אהבתי! המקור באנגלית (בעזרת גוגל) הוא: What I lack in depth, I make up for in shallowness. זה פשוט עובד כל-כך טוב. מזכיר כל כך הרבה דברים רלבנטיים לתקופתינו (אבל כנראה שנצחיים ובכל תקופה חושבים כך...)

I wrote this right after the Hebrew new year, intending to post it 2-3 weeks later. Then, October 7th happened. I wrote about other things. As the end of 2023 is approaching, these wishes are truer than ever. Here is the post, as originally written. This past weekend marked the Hebrew New Year, and as is customary for many people (but never for me, at least not until this year), I wrote some new-year wishes. Here is a version of what I wrote... May this be a year where we try hard to understand, and not only to explain. May we succeed in understanding other people, and explaining our thoughts to other. We all deserve better, and I'm optimistic and believe that things will be better. Let us remember, that despite everything, this point in history is one of the best for humanity as a whole - and we can make it better. By caring and understanding we can make a different. May we find joy and happiness in everything the new year brings - and may the new year bring many things for us to be happy about. Shana Tova! Happy New Year!

At tough time, people dream. Some have nightmares, some let their imagination fly, and despite (or because of) the tough time, the dream of better world. So here is my (naive, optimistic, unrealistic) dream. It's super simple. An ancient Jewish prayer (at least as early as the 11th century), says: עֹשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם בִּמְרוֹמָיו, הוּא יַעֲשֶׂה שָׁלוֹם עָלֵינוּ, וְעַל כָּל יִשְׂרָאֵל, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן Loosely translated (inspired by some formal translations), it means: May He Who makes peace in the Heavens, make peace upon us, and upon all Israel. Amen. I would like to extend this prayer to all people. May He Who makes peace in the Heavens, make peace upon us, and upon all peace seekers. Amen. If you're willing and wanting to leave in peace, with you neighbor, and work out your differences in a peaceful way, and remove hatred and violence from your system - then may peace be on you! Peace has a price. But it's a dream so good, it may be worth dreaming, not only for you, but also for all those who are so different from you. Peace be upon them too - if they seek it. May we be worthy of the lives sacrificed on October 7th, 2023. Let the silent majorities stop being silent, and stand up. And may our efforts be worthy, and May He Who makes peace in the Heavens, make peace upon us, and upon all peace seekers. Amen.

Golda Meir Z"L, Israel's 4th Prime Minister, 1898-1978 “Peace will come when the Arabs will love their children more than they hate us.” "If the Arabs put down their weapons today, there would be no more violence. If the Jews put down their weapons today, there would be no more Israel."

Last month we went sailing, and when I later reviewed the pictures, I had to check and recheck the details... As you can see below, these two pictures were taken in the same location, seconds apart (I didn't realize it until later). The only difference is/was – the direction I pointed my camera. Same world. Different view. "We see the world not as it is - but as we are" (anonymous*) (*) Source of quote unknown. Many theories, no final verdict. See Quote Investigator research

(*) פוסט קצת תורני מהרגיל - אבל ההבנה והתובנה הנובעים ממנו - חברתיים בעליל... אמלק: ביחד אנחנו שווים יותר - כל אחת ואחד שווים יותר בנפרד - וממילא הסך גדול יותר. בספר תהילים (קכ״ב, ב-ג) נאמר: ״עֹ֭מְדוֹת הָי֣וּ רַגְלֵ֑ינוּ בִּ֝שְׁעָרַ֗יִךְ יְרוּשָׁלִָֽם: יְרוּשָׁלִַ֥ם הַבְּנוּיָ֑ה כְּ֝עִ֗יר שֶׁחֻבְּרָה-לָּ֥הּ יַחְדָּֽו:״ - והגמרא בתלמוד ירושלמי מצטטת את רבי יהושע בן-לוי (ריב״ל) שאומר: ״א"ר יהושע בן לוי: ׳ירושלם הבנויה כעיר שחוברה לה יחדיו׳ עיר שהיא עושה כל ישראל לחברים״. כרקע, חשוב להבין כי בנושא דיני טומאה וטהרה, לא נוהגים לסמוך על כל אחד, אלא בדרך כלל סומכים רק על הצהרות של ״חבר״ - אדם שידוע כמקפיד על דיני טומאה וטהרה. ריב״ל מחדש לנו כי בשלושת הרגלים, כאשר כל עם ישראל עולה לירושלים, אזי ירושלים עושה את כל ישראל ל״חברים״ - כולם הינם בדרגה שניתן לסמוך על הצהרותיהם בנושאי טהרה וטומאה של פירות הארץ. עד כאן תהילים והתלמוד הירושלמי - והחידוש של ריב״ל. אבל מה אנחנו למדים מכך? מה הרעיון מאחורי דבריו של ריב״ל? בעבר שמעתי הסבר יפה וחשוב, שמסביר שאומנם עם ישראל שואף לדרגות הקפדה גבוהה בדיני טומאה וטהרה, ולכן בדרך כלל סומכים רק על ה״חבר״ - אבל כאשר יש כינוס וקיבוץ של העם בשלושת הרגלים, אזי לטובת קידום הערך החשוב במיוחד של אחדות עם ישראל, ובכדי לא לייצר פלגנות דווקא בתקופה שבה כולם נמצאים יחד - אנחנו מוכנים ״לוותר״ מעט על ערך הקדושה (הבא לידי ביטוי באמצעות הקפדה על דיני טומאה וטהרה) לטובת חיבור ואחדות (ולכן נעשה את כל ישראל כאילו הם בדרגת ״חבר״, ונקבל את הצהרותיהם בנושא טומאה וטהרה). אבל בשיעור שהייתי בו לאחרונה הועלתה אפשרות אחרת. יכול להיות שאנחנו בכלל לא מוותרים על ערך הקדושה לטובת ערך האחדות וה״ביחד״. אלא, שנדרשת ״כמות״ קדושה מסויימת. כאשר מדובר ביחידים מעם ישראל, הם נדרשים לרמת קדושה שבה כל אחד נדרשת להקפיד על טומאה וטהרה ברמה של ״חבר״, כדי שנשיג את ״כמות״ הקדושה הזו. אבל, כאשר מתאסף העם כולו (בירושלים, בשלוש הרגלים), הוא מהווה ״מכפיל״ כוח, ומקפיץ מדרגה של רמת הקדושה. ואז, היחידים שבדרך כלל אינם במעלת ״חבר״, מגיעים למעלת חבר - לא ״כאילו״, לא בוויתור - אלא פשוט שכוחו העם, כוח האחדות, כוח ה״ביחד״ - מכפיל את רמת הקדושה של כל יחיד ויחיד - ומעלה את הסך הכל הכללי של ״כמות״ הקדושה אל מעבר לכמות הנדרשת, ומאפשר הגעה למסה הקריטית. ביחד אנחנו שווים יותר - כל אחת ואחד שווים יותר בנפרד - וממילא הסך גדול יותר. זה לא וויתור. זו לא פשרה. זה בעצם האידיאל, הלכתחילה. המצב הרצוי. ה״מכפיל״ של ה״ביחד״.

The Epictetus quotes I posted on May (link at the bottom of this post) got mixed-feedback - some liked, some criticized. I hope this month will work out better. I stumbled upon the following Quora answer by Aime Ishimwe, who answered the question: "What is the sharpest-pointiest thing in the world?" (link at the bottom of this post). * The original answer had 35 quotes. I removed some, reordered them, and grouped them as I saw fit - but I would have found about them without Aime Ishimwe - so thank you! And thank you Steven Wright. Some you'll possibly/hopefully enjoy - but others worth thinking about - and using. And reusing. Stop and Think A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now. If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder." Enjoy Half the people you know are below average. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Cynically Funny All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand. I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met. (Link to my post with Epictetus quotes) (Link to Wikipedia entry on Steven Wright) (Link to Aime Ishimwe answer on Quora)

Disclaimer: I found this works great for me. Both in my personal dilemmas, and whenever people asked for my opinion (that was their first mistake 😊). I believe it will work well for you too. No guarantees. (While I have been using this intuitively for many many years, I first heard the formalization of it in a TEDx talk by Prof. Yossi Yassour, with roots in Behavioral Economics. Link below). It works best for two-or-more options, yes/no dilemmas, and requires little effort. Questions such as: Should I buy this property? Or should I continue looking? Should I sell this property? Or hold on to it? Should I accept this job offer? Or the other job offer? Should I leave my current position? Should I cancel accept the invite to the event? Or reject it? (If you have another dilemma you'd like to try, and you're not sure how to apply – please – contact me and let's give it a try.) And here it is – in a nutshell, and to use Prof. Yassour terminology, you should use Passive Decision Making instead of Active Decision Making. Let's take the case of the two jobs offers. Suppose you're fortunate enough to have two job offers on the table, and you're not sure which one to take. Both have certain advantages - and other disadvantages. Not trivial to compare. You like both. But you need to make up your mind. What you should do is the following... Imagine you just got a phone call from company A, regarding job offer A, telling you they are really sorry - but the job offer is no longer relevant. So effectively, you must take job offer B. Are you relieved? Or do you feel you've missed the opportunity of you life? Now, flip the situation. Imagine you just got a phone call from company B, regarding job offer B, telling you they are really sorry - but the job offer is no longer relevant. So effectively, you must take job offer A. Are you relieved? Or do you feel you've missed the opportunity of you life? I dare say, in most case, you'll have clear "feeling", intuition, of which of these phone calls you prefer to get. If you prefer the phone call from company A... then you probably prefer the job offer from company B, and vice versa. That's it. Use Passive Decision Making (a "what if someone made the decision for me" approach) - would you be relieved? (Link to TEDx talk, in Hebrew, with English subtitles. Slightly more than 16 minutes, but listen in x2, it still makes sense)

במסגרת ה״איזה כיף פה בארץ עם כל מה שקורה פה״, לראשונה בחיי (אני חושב) הלכתי לאחת ההפגנות. לא זו של ההייטק, סה״כ אני שוב סטודנט. של פריבילגים, בעיר מגורי, במרחק הליכה מהבית, ובלי פקקים... באופטימיותי קיויתי שאני הולך להפגנה של ״מה קורה פה? כדאי שנתאפס על עצמינו לפני שהכל ייחרב״ (או לפחות זו ההפגנה שקיויתי שאני הולך אליה. רמז - לא בדיוק). הינה שתי התובנות שלי מההפגנה: (1) איומים בנזק כלכלי לא ישפיעו על השותפים של ביבי - הם רגילים ומוכנים לחיות באיומים. הם מאמינים (כמו שגם אני מאמין לצורך הענין) שמה שנכון לעשות, נכון לעשות - גם אם ילווה בנזק כלכלי. [על ביבי זה משפיע, הוא מבין היטב את ההשלכות הכלכליות - אבל מה האלטרנטיבה שלו? מי עוד מוכן לתת לו להיות ראש ממשלה?] (2) עד שלא יישמעו קולות (בהפגנות, ובתקשורת) של ״גם אנחנו לא בסדר. יש צורך לתקן. אבל לא להרוס ולבנות מחדש אלא בשותפות״ - אף אחד לא יספור את ההפגנות חוץ מאילו שתומכים בהן גם ככה. הקולות בהפגנות הם: אתם לא בסדר. אוסף של מושחתים. אנחנו (ורק אנחנו) מושלמים. תפסיקו להתנהג חד-צדדית. בואו נדבר. אני מדבר על קולות בסגנון: חפרנו לעצמינו בור. לא ספרנו אתכם. היינו כל כך בטוחים שאנחנו - ורק אנחנו צודקים. אנחנו מבינים שיש מה לתקן. אצלינו. ואצליכם. בואו נדבר. אני אנסה לחשוב ולדבר כך. מקווה שלא רק אני. אז שיהיה לנו שבוע טוב. (אומרים לי שאני נאיבי ואופטימי. זה נכון במובן מסויים - בגדול, למרות הכל, אני מאמין שיהיה טוב.) (* זה פוסט חברתי באופיו - אבל אני ארשה לעצמי לפרסם גם ברשת המקצועית. סליחה אם בזבזתי לכם 2 דקות.)

(Lots of credit to Max Cordova and Everyday Power) During a course in Behavioral Decision Making, I ran into the following quote: There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond our power. I really liked it, so I tracked down its source, and it seems it's attributed to Epictetus (50-135 AD), a "...Greek Stoic philosopher... (who) was born into slavery at Hierapolis... (and who) taught that philosophy is a way of life and not simply a theoretical discipline." (Wikipedia) I liked it so much, that I went on to track more of his quotes, and selected some of the best (of those I found) below his picture. Scroll to enjoy. (Or browse to everydaypower.com to see the complete list...) #philosophers_can_bring_value #dont_worry_about_what_you_cant_control There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power or our will. Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems #be_happy_with_what_you_have He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has. Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions. #thoughts_and_circumstances We are not disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us. It is not so much what happens to you as how you think about what happens. People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. #friends_and_friendship The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you, whose presence calls forth your best. Other people’s views and troubles can be contagious. Don’t sabotage yourself by unwittingly adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through your associations with others. Be careful whom you associate with. It is human to imitate the habits of those with whom we interact. We inadvertently adopt their interests, their opinions, their values, and their habit of interpreting events. #blame Small-minded people blame others. Average people blame themselves. The wise see all blame as foolishness To accuse others for one’s own misfortune is a sign of want of education. To accuse oneself shows that one’s education has begun. To accuse neither oneself nor others shows that one’s education is complete. #way_of_life Don’t explain your philosophy. Embody it.

As part of school project, while preparing a presentation, a super-smart person on our team (you know who you are!) proposed we add to the slides - our personal mottos. Wow! Boom! We all loved the idea - and adapted the presentation accordingly. By definition, a motto is "a short sentence or phrase chosen as encapsulating the beliefs or ideals guiding an individual, family, or institution." (Oxford Dictionary, google search result). I've been using this concept numerous times since, including at an event with close friends, where we all contributed - and guessed contributors of - mottos. But why? Why do people like mottos? I believe it's because when someone offers you a motto (whether their own, or quoted) - they offer you a brief snapshot of who they are, what are their beliefs and what they value - a brief and unique perspective of themselves. And since I really appreciate perspectives, here are some of my favorites (including the one that started it all - which is the first one on the post, just right here after the line!) I did my best to correctly attribute them where relevant. If you have corrections - please LMK. [Quote first. Attribution follows) The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. It's what you're made of. Not the circumstances. (Mel Robbins) Be Kind. Intelligence, Talent, Appearance - are given, but Kindness is a choice you make. So be Kind. The only difference between people who succeed and those who don't is that successful people didn't give up when they encountered failure. Don't worry about things you can't control. Save your energy for things you can change. Anyone can find a problem. Only people with the right attitude solve it. You can’t slow down progress. You can choose to be the last to adopt it, or the first to benefit from it. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. (Benjamin Brewster. Probably. See Quote Investigator) Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe! (Albert Einstein. Or not. See Quote Investigator) The Harder I Practice, the Luckier I Get. (A golf player. Or not. See Quote Investigator) Good, better, best. Never let it rest. (Un)til your good is better and your better is best. (St. Jerome) Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. (Allen Saunders. Not John Lennon. See Quote Investigator) Common Sense is Not So Common (François-Marie Arouet, a.k.a Voltaire, 1696-1778)