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  • Writer's pictureReuven Sherwin

The Genius of Steven Wright

The Epictetus quotes I posted on May (link at the bottom of this post) got mixed-feedback - some liked, some criticized.

I hope this month will work out better.

I stumbled upon the following Quora answer by Aime Ishimwe, who answered the question: "What is the sharpest-pointiest thing in the world?" (link at the bottom of this post).

* The original answer had 35 quotes. I removed some, reordered them, and grouped them as I saw fit - but I would have found about them without Aime Ishimwe - so thank you! And thank you Steven Wright.

Some you'll possibly/hopefully enjoy - but others worth thinking about - and using.

And reusing.

Stop and Think

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.

If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."


Half the people you know are below average.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Cynically Funny

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, ..... But she left me before we met.


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