Don’t Fix People. Fix Perspective: How to Help Others Deal with Challenges

Mitzpe Ramon — Winding Road — a different Perspective

A fictional story that surely happened: Two text messages, a skipped lunch, and a “We need to talk.” Dana walked out of her 1:1 convinced her manager was out to get her. Five minutes with a neutral peer acting as a “perspective manager” — just calm questions like, What exactly was said? What evidence points that way? What would the strongest case for your manager’s intent look like? — and the story shifted. The “criticism” was a rushed attempt to unblock QA before a client demo. Nothing about the facts changed; the perspective did. And once it did, so did her options.

As people—managers and teammates alike—we all face challenges that can truly test our resilience and resourcefulness. Whether it's a workplace crisis, a personal relationship in turmoil, or a financial setback, these hurdles can feel daunting and overwhelming.

One transformative tool that can empower us to navigate these challenges is perspective management. This approach encourages us to explore various viewpoints and understand situations from multiple angles. It becomes especially valuable when we find ourselves trapped in a negative or unproductive mindset.

Reframing Conflict

Consider this scenario: a friend approaches you, distressed about a coworker who seems to criticize every move they make, leading to heightened stress and conflict. As a perspective manager, you can help the friend explore alternative interpretations of what they perceive as criticism. Perhaps the coworker is genuinely trying to be helpful by offering constructive feedback, or maybe they're grappling with personal issues that are influencing their behavior. By guiding your friend to view the situation through a different lens, you can unveil new avenues for resolving the conflict and enhancing their relationship.

Shifting Negative Views

Another powerful application of perspective management is assisting friends in reframing their negative outlook on a situation. Imagine a friend who feels overwhelmed and pessimistic about their current circumstances, viewing everything through a bleak lens. Together, you can uncover less negative—or even positive—ways to interpret the same situation. They might have been focusing too heavily on the negatives while overlooking potential positives. By gently shifting their perspective, you can illuminate new possibilities and empower them to find a path forward.

Techniques for Perspective Management

Several evidence-backed techniques help people manage perspective:

• Reframing: Reinterpreting a situation in a more positive or productive light.

• Perspective-taking: Deliberately considering the thoughts, feelings, and motivations of others.

• Socratic Questioning: Using curious, non-leading prompts (e.g., “What evidence would change your mind?”) to surface assumptions and alternatives.

• Time & Distance Zoom: Advising your “future you,” or applying the 10–10–10 rule (how will this feel in 10 days, 10 months, 10 years?) to cool hot cognition and broaden options.

• Ladder of Inference Check: Separating what you observed from the meaning you added; test each leap with disconfirming evidence.

• Steelmanning: Building the strongest version of the other side’s view before responding; it improves accuracy and rapport.

These strategies significantly enhance communication, problem-solving, and decision-making skills.

The Subjectivity of Perspective

It’s crucial to remember that perspective is inherently subjective, shaped by factors such as past experiences, emotions, and cognitive biases. Therefore, approaching perspective management requires an open mind and a genuine willingness to listen to and understand others' viewpoints, even when they differ from our own. This practice fosters greater empathy, understanding, and cooperation, benefiting both personal and professional relationships. And while perspective is subjective, the person helping must strive for objectivity—otherwise the guidance won’t land.

The Objectivity of the Perspective Manager

Another crucial and often overlooked aspect of the perspective manager is the required objectivity. If the person offering advice is biased toward a side, emotionally entangled, or signaling judgment, the receiver will likely reject the perspective—no matter how “right” it is.

Practical ways to maintain objectivity (checklist):

• ☐ Declare role & intent — “I’m here to help you think, not to pick sides.”

• ☐ Separate facts from stories — keep an evidence ledger (known vs. assumed).

• ☐ Check conflicts of interest — disclose it, or recuse yourself.

• ☐ Mirror before advising — reflect back and get a “yes” to your summary.

• ☐ Invite disconfirmation — “What would make this perspective wrong?”

Objectivity doesn’t mean neutrality about harmful behavior; it means your analysis is fair, transparent, and grounded in evidence and empathy.

Remember...

Perspective management widens—not erases—the facts we consider. Paired with simple techniques and a commitment to objectivity, it helps turn tense moments into teachable, solvable ones.